shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I just want nice things and good sex
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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