oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
