is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
