just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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