So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
