you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
