I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
