I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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