dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
