went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
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