why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Fuck appropriateness.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
