Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
