rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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