How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
