just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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