How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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