I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize