She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
