Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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