Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
