You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
