Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
