this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
