Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We left the knife in your bed.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
