Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
