she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
