Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
