Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Randomize
