Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
