IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
