Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
