Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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