I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
