You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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