nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
