I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
