I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
