tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize