Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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