If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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