Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
