i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
