New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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