Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
how does that bad decision feel?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
