i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
