My boss' voice literally gives me gas
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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