'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
