you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
