Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
