The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
