So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize