Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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