Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
