So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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