i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
