I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
