dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
