i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
