ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
