I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
