I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize