Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
How's work?
Spinning.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
