dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
This couple is walking their pig around campus
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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