Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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