What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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