the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize