im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
