Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
