The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
