we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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