At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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