my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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