Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
