everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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