i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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