there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I wish you could order shots online.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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