Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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